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DJ Irawo Rocks!

Thursday, 1 July 2021



As parents, we long to reap the fruits of our labour from our careers and from our children as we retire from active service.

If we have found fulfilment in our jobs and businesses, why then do we hinder our children from deriving the same joy from theirs?

Why do we prevent them from achieving happiness and success from their talents?

Why do we live our lives through our children?

Are you not being selfish with your decision?

Talent or gift is a natural skill that can be harnessed to create value and earn money via continuous learning and training.

When parents hear the word ‘talent’, they only think in terms of the arts like music, dance, art and craft whereas talent can come in any form. 

Talent can even come in the form of information technology, accounting, science, agriculture, etc.

Parents are the custodians of their children. 

That you birthed these children into the world does not mean that they do not have a mind of their own. 

You do not have the right to control their destiny. 

Your duty is to study them and guide them on the right path so that they will be useful to themselves, to you and society.

Even twin children have different personalities. They cannot want the same thing. 

So, you cannot expect that Child A will turn out like Child B. 

You must create time to nurture the interests of each child.

Your duty as a parent is to study your children and guide them in the right direction.

If Child A wants to become a doctor and Child B wants to become a dancer, so be it.

Your duty is not to try to influence Child B to become like Child A because you feel that a career as a doctor is prestigious and lucrative when compared to dancing.

In today’s world, all careers have equal chances of success. Check out Kafayat Oluwatoyin Shafau AKA Kaffy who is a Nigerian dancer, choreographer, dance and fitness instructor and Iweh Pascal Odinaka AKA Poco Lee who is a dancer.

Let's even set aside the comparison between or amongst your children.

Let us talk about you, their parents.

Let us imagine a scenario where you have a thriving career as a dentist.

Probably you and your spouse met in medical school.

She is a paediatrician.

After working for a while for other hospitals, you both decided to set up your own practice. You purchased a property and built a hospital that includes a dental clinic.

You have high expectations that your children will take over the running of your business once you retire and continue the family legacy.

You plan to birth three children and your plan was successful. 

You gave birth to three children namely: Adekunle, Adefunke and Adebimpe.

You imagined that Adekunle would be a paediatrician or a neurologist.

You imagined that Adefunke would be a neurosurgeon or a psychiatrist.

You imagined that Adebimpe would be a lawyer or an accountant to run the business side of your legacy.

......but you got a shocker!

Adekunle wants to be a shoemaker, Adefunke wants to be a fashion blogger and fashion stylist and Adebimpe wants to be a musician.

So their parents, Dr and Dr Mrs Fabiyi, are exasperated! How in the world would these children do that? How dare they choose ‘low profile’ careers over prestigious medical careers?

How dare they bring shame on the family?!!!

Well, if you think that you are going to force these children to do your bidding, you will only ruin their lives.

You will be setting them up for stress, anxiety, depression and ultimately suicide.

Many of these children will do what you want them to do but they will deliberately fail at the course that you have forced them to do and you will become frustrated after wasting a lot of time and money.

They will gift you with their certificate after graduation and follow their passion afterwards.

Like I said before, you are their guide and custodian. 

Your children are not dummies. They have a mind of their own.

So, when they decide to join the art class in SSS one with the assistance of their principal, vice-principal and guidance counsellor and a letter have been communicated to you to via your child about your child's subject choices, do not go back to the school to demand that your child be put in the science class because: 

1. that is what you want.
2. you want your child to take over your family business.
3. You want to use your child’s career to boast to your colleagues, family, friends and neighbours that your child is a doctor or engineer or lawyer.

4. you are the one paying his/her school fees.
5. just because you say so.

The signing of an undertaking by a parent to guarantee that the parent will be responsible for the failure of a child should the child fail that class is not enough to compensate that child for the mental torture that you are putting him/her through.

You are only toying with the happiness and health of your children.

What Mr and Mrs Fabiyi ought to do to secure the happiness and financial freedom of their children who have no interest in the medical career is to:

1. Stop the hospital business when the last spouse dies.
2. Plan for the lease of the property after the last spouse dies.
3. Plan for a split of lease income amongst the three children which they will use to support their new businesses. 
4. The hospital property does not have to be sold.

One of my father's close friends is a land and quantity surveyor. He runs a private practice in these careers.

He has two children. The first is female and she wanted to be a draper just like her mother. 

His second child is male and he wanted a career in information technology. 

Initially, my father's friend was sad that no child would continue with his legacy but he had to sacrifice that for the happiness of his children and his children love him for it.

I know someone whose brother was cajoled by their father to study medicine just because he wanted to have a child who would be called by the prefix, Dr. 

He failed the medical examinations at different stages. At a point, he was asked to withdraw but his father kept on bribing the school authorities to enable him to continue his studies.

He became a doctor alright but he was a bad one. He made several mistakes at the hospital where he worked which almost cost the lives of his patients.

One day, after the fourth query which he got from the medical director for gross negligence, he resigned from his job and went home dejected.

A few months later, he registered at an art school and became a fine artist.

Today, he is one of the happiest people that I know.

I have a similar experience too. I wanted to have a career in music and theatre arts but my parents wanted me to study accounting. 

They claimed that music and theatre arts are for dullards.

In my own situation, I excelled at accounting because I thought that I should just see if I would eventually love the career and of course, I did not really enjoy it.

I was only striving to please my parents.

I graduated with a second class upper in accounting in addition to two diplomas and professional certifications in accounting.

I worked for a while as a marketer, transaction officer and internal auditor. I became the head of the internal control, audit and investigations department......but I was bored.

I resigned to pursue my dreams. 

My musical dreams began to manifest after I got a scholarship to study music at the Pencils Film and Television Institute (PEFTI). I graduated with a distinction and was the best graduating student for that period.

On her sickbed, my mother confessed to me that she was actually the one that wanted me to be an accountant. She had wanted to be an accountant but her own mother wanted her to be a nurse. So, she passed on her passion to me. My father supported her decision.

I suffered from stress, anxiety, depression and contemplated suicide twice.

Before I gave birth to my children, I had vowed that I would never choose a career for them.

At age eighteen, my first son is a basketballer and a textile artist.

My second son plans to be a chef and a food scientist. Already he gets cooking jobs from his friends.

My third son plans to be a robotic engineer.

I support them in every way that I can.

Today, I am a musician. I also carry out music business services.

If I had started out earlier as a musician, I would have achieved more success at an early age.

If that doctor had become an artist on time, he would have achieved success faster at an early age.

If I had started out earlier, I would have been able to support my parents earlier and they would have been able to reap the fruits of their labour early!

Musically yours,

DJ Irawo

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